I write this article to let you know, no matter what you have gone through in your life. You can change your life to a positive happy experience. what I call Love & Light. I want to help others who have gone through similar things. To let them know that they are not alone, not crazy and they don’t have to be victims. I started my groups in 1992 to provide a safe place for others to share their experiences rather they are positive ,which most are concerning the ETs or the negative experiences, which are such things as I am writing about, that happened to me. I believe that most of my ET experiences have been of a positive and spiritual nature. I will write about some of the positive and some of the negative things that have happened to me in my life but I am not a victim or the result of these things that happened to me. I am who I am because of the things that I have experienced in my life, rather they were good or bad. They have made me a more non-judgmental, understanding and loving human being. Which is very necessary for the groups I facilitate and the people I counsel.
I have very little I can remember about my own childhood in Idaho. Why did 5 of my brothers and sisters die as children? My father was in the Rosicrucian which wiki says; “It is a philosophical secret society said to have been founded in late medieval Germany by Christian Rosenkreuz. It holds a doctrine or theology “built on esoteric truths of the ancient past”, which, “concealed from the average man, provide insight into nature, the physical universe and the spiritual realm.” Rosicrucianism was also influential to Freemason.” The encyclopedia states; “The idea of a Rosicrucian brotherhood arose in the early seventeenth century and through the succeeding decades aroused considerable interest among those with occult leanings. In the absence of an organization to coincide with the early documents that presented the basic Rosicrucian myth, numerous occultists filled the vacuum and invented a new mystical life. Over the next centuries, books appeared to present the true Rosicrucian teachings; Rosicrucian degrees appeared in speculative masonry; and different Rosicrucian orders emerged.”
Now I’m not saying that all Rosicrucian’s are this way but the order my father was part of dealt in magic, I believe some of it was Black Magic. He came home one night showed my Mom that he was able to move a cup with his mind. My Mom was so shocked at seeing this. He told her that night, “I have learned so much, there is so many things I can do and that are unseen things that few know about, but it comes with such a great price, I must get out of it for the sake of my family”. 4 of my siblings died as very young children of very odd deaths. I wondered if they were sacrificed by others who killed them because, we were just one of those poor families who were expendable. Why don’t they have any pictures of them? They only have one picture of each of the 4 who died. One was still born but maybe the he was also taken. I have a horrible memory of seeing one of my brothers, Aaron die. I have not seen any birth or death certificates for the 5 that died. It leaves me with so many unanswered questions.
This is where the MK-Ultra story comes into my life. I believe that my father was mind controlled and part of the MK-Ulta program. So he was under the control of others when he started the tram based mind control sessions on me. I know this because there were things he said to me, “I’m sorry to do this to you but you must learn how to leave your body and go somewhere else because you will have to endure much more pain in you life then I have given you.” This was when my personality started to split and the alters were born. There is many more memories about what happened to me, that I go into, in the book I’m writing.
The following statement are memories I had as a child, that were brought out in regression. Notice I speak here from a child’s perspective, my inner child is speaking here at 3 to 4 years old. “My Daddy he is a minister. He was sick and he couldn’t help himself. My Dad was mean to me, along with other men, he would bring me to them. They did mean things to me and other kids. They would pinch me poked me cut me, It hurts. They do naughty things to me. Don’t do it to me any more it hurts. I don’t want any of that stuff to happen to me anymore. My Daddy would Hypnotized me and make me think I was going to see butter flies. But they weren’t butterflies they were mean men. My Daddy would take me to basement where the mean people were. I was so scared of the basement. He took me to the basement and it smells like dirt and death. Their are mean aliens in the basement too. I am so scared of them oh Daddy why did you take me to the basement and give me to the aliens and the mean men.”
I found out I was put into service at age 9. I know my father was also handler and did trauma base mind control on me from at least 2 years old. I hold no animosity or anger against him because I know that what he went through in his lifetime was very terrifying and very tumultuous it took a long time to program him to the man he became and the man that was my handler. I know of so many times in his life that he tried to stop but he couldn’t as he told me on his deathbed. I am so very sorry that I had to turn you over to them I had no choice. Your mother could not have lost any more children. From this statement I knew that some of if not all of my brothers and sisters had been killed assassinated in order for my father to continue into the mind control and the madness. Four out of the six children that they had at that time, died as before the age of three. If my parents would have been parents in this day and age there would have been suspicion and investigations by the family services for the following experiences:
The first child made it to age 5. She died in a hospital of tuberculosis meningitis supposedly caused by a neighborhood child hitting her on the back of her head with a high heel shoe which caused the meningitis. The second was my father was a minister in the Fort Hall reservation and the family lived in the basement of a church. My mother and father lived with their four children in a very cold drafty basement where you could actually see light coming through the cracks of the walls. The child contracted pneumonia and due to the fact that it was extremely cold winter the child was not getting any better but my father would not take the child to the doctor or the hospital and the child succumbed from the pneumonia. The third child and infant supposedly was on a vacation with the other my parents and the 3 siblings. My oldest sister was holding the baby in her arms at the end of the destination they tried to awaken the baby but it had died well on the trip. Now this could have been alleviated because this car had a carbon monoxide leak on it before. My father knew this. But chose not to do anything about it. On a trip earlier my sister fell asleep and my parents stopped the car and walked her around and around and around the car to get her to revived. So my father knew how imperative it was to get this fixed but he did not. I do not know why he did not I also do not know why he refused to take my brother to the hospital when he was dying of pneumonia but he didn’t. And for the child died weeks after being born of what we now know as SIDS.
I believe that my father had his personality psyche splits into many pieces from childhood on I saw the many faces of him many times from everything from a wild crazy angry mean man who abused the children to a crying whimpering man. To a man who is very sick very ill and could hardly do the things that he did. So for these reasons I know my father was also mind controlled from a very young age on. So I believe that some of the horrible and horrific things to happen to my other siblings from the abuse and the beatings to the neglect was done by the many alters that my father had.
I also believe my mother had semi been mind-controled, her role was a submissive abused wife. She felt that she was trapped and could not get out of the marriage. I knew this because later on after we all grew up, she was still trying to get out of the marriage my father died in at age 69. That was finnaly her way out.
My father died of a horrible cancer tumor in his head in his throat he also died of a broken neck from an automobile accident a few months before. In that accident he is head hit the windshield. When he was taken to the hospital for observation of the tests they never gave him an x-ray they never really checked him he had little if no insurance. So they just sent him and my mom back on their way a view weeks later he fell in the kitchen which exasperated his neck injury. So my mother took him to the hospital there they checked his with emergency room and checked his neck and decided to do an x-ray on him and determined he had a broken neck. They put them in intensive care and put them in a circular bed but it wasn’t getting any better. So they put a halo on him, which is a very horrible device where they both to the skull and so that the person can set up.
I stayed by my father side every night until he passed. One night while he held my hand, he begin to say,” I am so very very sorry of what I did to you and what I allowed to happen to you. I had to hand you over to them. It was to be the last child I had agreed upon it. But the last child died in childbirth. That left that it would have to be you, since you were the youngest and your mother had not gotten so attached to you as she was with the older ones. So I had to turn you over to them. I knew your mother could never handle losing another child. It had all been so very hard for her and I knew it would kill her. So instead I turned you over to them so that you could still live with us in this process and be raised as our child and your mother would never know and would not really lose you. But you would be trained and programed from infancy and I would be the one to do it. I had no choice, I’m so sorry.”
I knew that mother never could get attached to any of the children. All of us always wondered why though she did kind things such as making costumes and sewing clothes and making the desserts like we liked. But she could never really hug and love and kiss on us. She felt that God would take her children away from her if she got attached to them. So she kept her distance from us never really loving us and not showing love to any of her children. She could never really bond and connect, or show us love because it was not in her anymore or she was just afraid to lose us.
It was interesting though that my mother completely changed after my father passed away in 1979. She was more warm loving still not really a gregarious kind woman or affectionate but at least we knew that she really loved us.
Neither one of my older siblings ever came to the hospital to visit my father. Nor did they attend his funeral. After my father died my two older siblings told me at separate times, how they hated him for what he did to them. they told me how he had hurt them so badly so many time. Also how he had used them as a commodity as a way of making a living on the road with his “Great London Ghost Show” this was a traveling magic show. My brother was the stagehand and did all the work he also, being a very intelligent young boy had made and developed all of the stage props. My oldest sister was his assistant and was hypnotized as all of us had been but she would be hypnotized on the stage to do tricks with my father. My other sister was his second assistant and was a contortionist, who also entertained at many venues. Both my oldest brother and older sister tried to run away from the show but he always brought them back. But at age 16 my sister finally did run away out of the state and got away forever. My brother ran away soon after that at age 14. And actually rode the railways and lived on the streets until he was old enough to join the service. He joined the service youngm by forging his parents signatures. This was a very good thing that happend to him because he ended up getting an education and becoming electrical engineer. Working for Boeing, Litton and other government contracts, until his death two years ago. Due to the very hard hard lives that they both had they died young my sister at 77 and my brother at 77.
Project MK-ULTRA, is a mind-control program developed by the CIA, and tested on the military, civilians, men , women, even children and babies. These projects started in the 40s and continue to this day. There are many different projects under the Umbrella of the MK-Ultra here are a few. Monarch, Montauk, Artichoke, Project Talent, President’s Models, Driving Programs, Fairy Tale programming, Manchurian candidates, Super soldiers, Ritual Abuse Programming. It should be noted that they change the names and are adding new names to new project. Hypnosis, drugs, and psycho-surgery; separately and combined, were the tools of this quest for the ultimate truth serum on the one hand, and the capability to create an agent who could not have his or her mission tortured out of them, or even be aware that they were carrying secret information given to them in an altered state of consciousness. More and more sophisticated drugs were experimented with, such as LSD, Ketamine, and Psilocybine. Lobotomy and the implantation of electrodes were considered as methods for creating a compliant agent.
MY CHILDHOOD ET EXPERIENCES
I remember the BEEGEES. They were my first ET contact at 3 years old. I feel they came to help me though my horrible life I was having at that time. Because of what was happening to me I felt that my Mom & Dad didn’t really love us kids… The BeeGees were my friends and they use to come when I was sad. They were a 3ft tall had a round fury body. round noses an brown round eyes. I thought they were bears. When I saw the Ewoks on Star Wars, I was blown away, it was them. That meant someone else had seen them besides me. My brothers and sisters were at school when they first arrived. The BGs took me high up and I floated and flew far above the roofs of my town. I guess we were on the way to their ship but I can’t recall more. They tickled me and made me happy; they told me many things that they never told anyone else. I know they loved me because I could feel it when I was around them. The kind of feeling that comes from the heart and I know what it is like to be loved unconditionally. They came back many more time through out my childhood.
I saw my first reptilian in 1965, which at first I was very frightened of due to the unknown and I thought they were going to do something to me. I woke up in the middle of the night, there at my windows were 3 small deers. (screen memory) I had seen they many times before. The next thing I remember is, I woke up in a field standing underneath a craft. I looked up and saw 3 wheel lid objects on the bottom of the ship. They were all turning different ways from the other one. The craft had lights within the wheels and it was beautiful. the next thing I remember is there are 3 large tall being behind me. I couldn’t look at them then since I could not turn my head but later on board the ship I saw them. There were 3 of them standing in the back where it was darker wearing dark cloaks and they were just watching me. I had this strong feeling of familiarity and I said “I know you” just then one of them stepped into the light dropped his hood and I saw Iyano for the first time. I had a instantaneous memory, that I had been his wife in a life when I was a reptilian myself. I also felt this extreme feeling of love from him. They watched while the greys examined me. This was my first gynecological examination. I was so scared but the Willowy one leaned over and said to me telepathically, but in a loving voice’ we will not hurt you this is necessary for the hybrid program.” The next thing I remember I am standing in my bedroom.
I was told that there are a few ways that you are chosen. First one is our mass mind chooses to live lives as an Earth humans. An individual comes into existence on your planet. They carry with them a signature vibration that is coded within our computer. You may consider it to be like homing device. At a certain development stage which has been decided before incarnation. The signature will be like a beacon to us.” “Periodically we generate a beam of electromagnetic energy with the request for contact coded within it. The vibration within the beam speaks to the overall reality and asks for volunteers . Those who respond with a return vibration are noted and cataloged. They are found when it is appropriate.” It is your time now! These experiences continued through out my childhood into my adult life.
Iyano came back into my life in 1989. I had many experiences with what I felt was a beautiful form of unconditional love energy and human beings on board the ships. We had me see him for a very long time as a handsome blonde human man. One night I was finally able to see him: I woke up from what I thought was a dream with a feeling of my kundalini raising. In my dream he was a blond-haired, blue-eyed man. I saw him there so I knew it wasn’t a dream. He was standing there in the energy field as he had been many other nights. I said, “I know you are not this blond man, you are something else. What do you really look like?” He said, “Are you sure you are ready for this?” I said yes. Then the energy around him changed and he showed me his true form, or I finally got comfortable enough with his energy that I was able to see him in his true form. I believe they aren’t shape shifting they show us screen images of what is more comfortable for us, until we are ready to truly see them.
There stood a 7’5” or taller handsome regal Reptilian being. I was startled at first but I felt the unconditional love that came from him as the many other times I had been around him and felt no fear, only love. He had an avocado greenish color to his body which was covered by scales. He had piercing but kind yellow eyes. His body structure was very muscular and he had some type of armor on his chest. I think it was organic and part of his body. He wore a black cloak but I could see that his hands had four fingers with long claw like nails. He did not speak but spoke to me telepathically. I know he was some type of an ambassador because he spoke so eloquently. He also later in my life took me to the council of 12. So I felt he was my guide and an ambassador to earth.
One night he told me what his name was. I heard Iyano in my head. I experienced his unconditional love many more times. Such a different energy and feeling, compared to the other Reptilian encounters. He never touched me and there was never any kind of physical relationship. It was all an unconditionally loving, spiritual energy connection. Iyano was to come to me for many years throughout this period of my life. I realized we had a love connection and I found out we had been through at least three incarnations together. He came back many times. He was also protected me from some very negative reptilians and humans who had been taken me as a MILAB for a couple of years. I know he came to protect me. But when he was not around I was still taking as a MILAB.
Arco Idaho in 1967. I was abducted out of my room by aliens they were in hooded cloaks and were dark and tall. The the next thing I was with a woman with almost albino skin and dark black hair wearing white. She handed me over to the clocked ones. Another time I remember being underground and I was part of a sexual project (Told me I was special chose and part of a special race and bloodline and they own me.) It was a horrible ritual I was surrounded by the cloaked ones. I was given drugs that caused extreme sexual arousal a chant was (Abendia) Some other names come up but I can’t remember them. I was wearing a white (Priestess) robe. I was raped and sodomized by men and aliens. The reptilians love to suck up my fear adrenaline. They drink up the fear adrenaline like it is a drug. I and other children were laid out on a alter with fire all around us. I remember nothing after that.
One time I was taken on board to the nursery I was given a baby and when I saw her I knew she was mine and held her close and bonded with her. They showed me a vision of other men and women being presented their children and rejecting them, running away, screaming or dropping them. They telepathically told me “This was a success”. I was taken many times to love and bond with my children. One night I was in a nursery with around 13 to 15 hybrid, all were different sexes and different ages, from infancy to teen ages. I asked them which one is mine and they said “they all are”. Well I understood from this, that they don’t need to impregnate me, all they need is my eggs. The older ones seemed to be slender and weak. Their skin was shallow and very pale.
I was told that some don’t live past their teens. I had been taken to the nursery many times after to play and nurturer my children. One night there was a child shown to me that looked different than the rest of my children, who were Grey and human genetics like the Essassani. This time a child came from the back of the room and walked closer to me. It was a Reptilian child. He seemed stockier than my other children. His skin was light green with a hint of scales and his forehead came into a v shape coming down between his eyes. His eyes were blue green and he had such a sweet loving energy. I felt a special deep love for him. I asked who was the father and they told me, “You call him Iyano and the all.” I took that to mean that Iyano and other genetics were used to make my baby. I remember when I was carrying this one, unusual things happened in my body. I even developed a scale rash on my back and leg but when he was taken from me the rash disappeared. That was in the early 1990s.
Here he is my baby grown up as he is now. I think it is the same child but I’m not sure. I might have two or more reptilian children. I have even been shown another reptilian child this year. These experiences are confusing and I’m still learning things out all the time.
I am so blessed by all of these things that happened to me in my life. I have learned so much from my life experiences, even the negative ones, that I would never change any of them. It has made me a better person. As for the more negative experiences in my life. Well, I guess I was taking care of some karma. Because of all my experiences, I have empathy and compassion for so many who have experienced the same things. All my experiences rather positive or negative have helped me to be a loving and a non-judgmental facilitator for my support groups.
I learned so much from Iyano and the Federation. We truly are spiritual beings living a human life. I learned you can’t judge an ET (alien) by how they look. Just because they look scary and maybe ugly to you does not mean they are evil. Just because they come looking human and as a being of light. Does not mean they are from the light. We must be discerning at all time. There is good and bad in all races including the human race. “As above so below”.
I have also been shown that the Star Children (hybrids), that are coming into Earth’s incarnation cycle (a term told to me by the Ets) or as we call it being born now as well as children being born in the last 30 years are here for a purpose and mission. I believe they are bringing love back to our planet. What better people to be a bridge to connect our worlds. I believe they are the future of our world. They are the light in the darkness; they are the hope of tomorrow.
I was shown that they were coming 20 years ago in my dreams. I had a reoccurring dream that huge mother ships were landing all over the world. All the adults were running away from the ships screaming “Its and invasion”. But all the children were saying “please come back; don’t run away they are not here to hurt us, they are here to help us.” There was a phrase that would repeat over and over in my head, during this dream and after. “The children shall lead them”. I believe these are the children that shall lead us. I don’t believe that they are here to rescue us but to teach us; if we will just be quite and listen. “The children shall lead them”! I was told that since advancements in the hybrid program had happened in the later pregnancies. I have two adult children alive on the ship. I have asked them If I my come back and see them. I was told I had to unblock my energy for them to be able to see me again.
Due to bad experiences with the negatives ETs and the black ops/mk-ultra. I met with a council that allowed me to cancel all my contracts. This has blocked all ETs from seeing me or me having physical contact with them. I am looking so forward to seeing my children again someday and seeing Iyano again someday.
For now I will have to settle for feeling and knowing that Iyano is always around me and having my communications with my hybrids on a daily basis, when they channel through me. They have taught me how to speak the galactic languages, by means of downloads and many conversations. I so enjoy my chats with them!
Love & Light,